I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
