I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
