dude i'm inner monologue high
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
