Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
