She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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