Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just want nice things and good sex
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
