Can Purell be used as lube?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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