You smell like a Billy Joel song
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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