I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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