She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
