Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
