that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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