I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So much rum. So many feels.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
