I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
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