i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
