oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
