I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
