So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
