Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
