you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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