I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
