weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
