did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
