I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
