I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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