the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
