We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
