so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
