How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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