now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
