it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
