Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
