Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Terrible idea I love it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize