Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
