you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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