you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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