Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
