4 words: hood of his car
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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