so that wasnt chicken after all
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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