..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
