Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
