You can't motorboat a personality
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
