In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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