PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
