i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
