I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
