carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
