laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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