he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
