i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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