the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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