4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
