His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Someone signed my nipple.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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