you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
