Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
