White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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