I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
